Places I have been....

Oh the places I have been....

Shanghai China

I have been to places of sorrow, places of fear, places of regret, and places of guilt.  I am by nature a nervous, easily guilted, tender hearted, yet tough kind of girl.  I am a contradiction in so many ways when I try to figure out who I want to be.  I am still, at 39 figuring this out, who do I want to be?

Places I have been like, Virgina, Georgia, Miami, Salt Lake City, San Francisco,  New York, Chicago, Shanghai, Bejiing, Venice and Rome are part of a different me that came to existence in the last year.

I have a husband that travels.  He travels all over the US, and travels all over the world.   He went to Europe, Brazil, and China before I started to question why I wasn't going with him.

Why wasn't I????  Easy Answer,  I was too nervous.  Nervous to fly, nervous to be somewhere I wasn't familiar with, nervous to leave my kids, nervous they would get sick, nervous the sitter would get sick of them, nervous my house would be messy, and on and on and on.

I could come up with a million reasons why I was to nervous to go, but I couldn't come up with one reason I shouldn't experience life with J! (J is how I will refer to my husband)

I realized that with, or without me he was going to travel, and I quickly knew I needed to figure out if I really wanted to be a part of his life in this way.

The answer was an overwhelming YES!

I knew I wanted to see places, and I knew the oppurtunity was there to go.  I just had to figure out how to overcome all the negative reasons I could create.  I was holding myself hostage with fear of the unknown.  I had to break free of this and the only way I knew how was to commit to a trip!!!

I told J, whatever the next overseas trip he went on, I was in!!!  I hoped it would be Europe, but nope, it turned out to be Asia.  I will be honest, my heart sank!  Asia??????  Don't they eat crazy food and not have real toilets. Isn't there millions of people who all want to stand right next to you???  Is it safe, will I survive, how far do I have to fly????

Traditional Chinese Lunch= SLIMY!!

The doubts started creeping in, but the best part was the decision was made, I was going!  Now I had to embrace it and figure out how to enjoy it.

My next few entries will share my experiences in Asia.  It truly changed my life and I am so grateful that Asia was the first place I went.  I experienced so many culture differences, and really learned to embrace the adventure.  I will share some of the tips I learned, and some of the facts I embraced to help me cope with the flights and the different methods of travel.

My visit to Asia has given me a desire to travel the world.  I want to see how other Moms just like me are living in their countries.  I am fascinted by all the different ways I see laundry being done (I do a lot of laundry and so this speaks to me).  I am fascinated by the way they care for their kids, how they get them to school, and how kids are surviving in very different places than my city of Gilbert, Arizona.

Before I left on one of my last trips someone said to me, "How do you leave your kids?  My kids are my everything and I would never leave them like you do". (this really happened)

My response to that after a lot of soul searching was, "How can I not leave my kids!  How can I not teach them to embrace the world, to not live in fear of what could happen but live for each day as the gift it is." 

It has taken me along time to find the courage to actually live life outside of my comfort zone on occasion.  I hope they learn as children to seek opportunities that will help them to grow and experience new things.

J & I at Robot Restarrant

I also, love my husband.  I want my kids to know that.  I want them to see despite my busy life as their Mom, I have time for their Dad.  Marriage is amazing and marriage can be really hard.  I have a good one, I picked a great companion and still somedays are brutal!  Life can be brutal, but these trips, they are magical!!!!

I have decided to relax. I try to just love each minute of where I am, and the time I have with my husband.  We get to talk uninterrupted, we get to see things, we experience where history really happened and make memories that are just ours.  I love my time with him, and although I still work at calming my nerves, I plan to travel anywhere he will take me.  ( I do have a few places I won't go until our kids are older but thats for another time).

Oh the places I have been..... and Oh the places I plan to go!!!